Ode to the coronavirus

Ode to the coronavirus
Coronavirus in action

Don’t feel like reading? Listen to me read the poem

November 2019 was the date of origin
And Wuhan in China was the place
For the birth of the worst coronavirus
In forever we’ve had to face

Doctor Li Wenliang tried to blow the whistle
And tell the world what was about to come
He was disciplined and later died from treating patients
The Chinese authorities now feel like real scum

They say it is bats that first caught this
Passing to us directly, or through other species
Allegedly not by local pharmaceutical companies
Or the many other conspiracy theories

The thing that makes it so dangerous
Is the speed and ease with which it goes viral
Despite leaders trying to pretend that they’ve got this
Out of control this bloody thing continues to spiral

They shut down the whole Wuhan province
Locking millions of people inside
The rest of us watched on in horror
In the safety of our countries we thought we would hide

But it was too late, the damage was done
Into other countries it started to trickle
First South Korea, Italy, and Iran
Found themselves in one hell of a pickle

With all of the media beat up
People feared those who even looked Chinese
It left many from other Asian countries wondering
Are you serious? C’mon, please…

The truly great thing about racism
Is it’s an equal opportunity occurrence
No matter which race you are coming from
It’s directly proportional to ignorance

But shit really started to get serious
Now there isn’t a place it hasn’t been
They even gave it a shiny new name
Introducing… COVID19

While for many, the symptoms are mild
Their immune systems taking care of the rest
For an increasing and alarming number of people
This awful disease will result in death

It might start with a dry cough and/or fever
But inflammation in the lungs is the fiend
Inflammation gunk collecting in the air sacs
Means not enough oxygen to the bloodstream

Then people started getting it on cruise ships
They were rejected by nearly every port
They were the first after Wuhan forced to isolate
This was not the vacation they had thought

Was banning people getting off cruise ships
Or closing schools taking things too far?
Or is it about time we called them out
For being the dirty petri dishes they are!

The leaders of many great nations
Have handled it as well as you’d expect
Given their varied personalities and capabilities
The morons are easy to detect

Trump told us his numbers were THE BEST
That the US had nothing to worry about
Then he lied about the numbers of tests available
And went down the full racist route

A Chinese virus so we know where the blame lies
And only old people die anyway
The Obama era infectious disease department he scrapped
They would have just gotten in the way

Boris Johnson says let’s go for heard immunity
Which means he has nothing to do
Like Trump he seems to think it’s totally ethical
To tell old people… Fuck you!

Scott Morrison thinks blond blue eyed baby Jesus
Is the only one who can save the day
He refuses to shut schools or restrict gatherings
For then at Hillsong Church, he couldn’t go and pray

Jacinta’s is holding press meets with school kids
And endorsing the ‘East Coast Wave’
The meeting of eyes, raising of eyebrow ,and head upwards movement
Is the kiwi version of, Namaste

The Singaporeans are TRULY nailing it
They implemented all their learnings from SARS
Detect, isolate, and track by their scientists
Some leaders think are flaming galahs…

Macron was quite shocked when he instructed
The French in public places not to linger
They absolutely weren’t having it and did it anyway
Showing Macron and the virus the middle finger

But Rajinikanth and Chuck Norris can’t save us
And our leaders really hate that fact
But with the stock market taking a nose-dive
Even the dumbest now know they have to act

What happened to trickle down economics?
That every economist, knows is a farse
Our leaders use it to serve their own purposes
But we all know they’re talking out of their arse

The best way to stimulate the economy
Is to give more to those who’re in need
For they are the ones who will spend it
Not suck it out of the economy for their own greed

Now economic crisis is imminent
Proper stimulus they have to actually use
If they return to old arguments again afterwards
They should not get away with this excuse

Perhaps the upside to politician’s early denial
Is they are some of the first people to catch it
They kept going to gatherings and ignoring warnings
It brings me joy, many are now feeling rat-shit

We find ourselves in an unprecedented global shutdown
Borders and airports all shut, planes grounded
Quarantine, self-isolation are our instructions
Harsh restrictions we are told are completely founded

Wash your hands, don’t leave home without sanitizer
Wear a mask if you’re sick or on a plane
Don’t touch your face, or anything else for that matter
That last one is truly a pain

But what does it mean for our sex lives?
Well if we didn’t stop with HIV….
Science says it’s okay to bump uglies
Just don’t kiss, breath on them, or sneeze

The thought of being home in isolation
Has led the masses to go out and panic buy
It is different things in different countries
But for many it is bizarrely four ply

The shelves clearing for #ToiletPaperPanic
Is definitely an affliction for the West
In Asia and Europe the bidet or bum gun
Is what their dirty bottoms like best

Shelves are empty of all the essentials
Hand sanitizer and wet wipes are big ones
But the scariest stockpiling of all
Is the Americans and their bloody guns

They must know you can’t shoot coronavirus
So can someone explain what they’re for?
This is a time we should be helping our neighbours
Not shooting them if they show up at our door

And for God’s sake stop harassing the shopkeepers
Or being an ass at the pharmacy
They’re not paid enough to take your crap
They’re doing their jobs just like you and me

Our hospitality workers, service providers and entertainers
Have suddenly seen their business turn south
Open your hearts and show them your compassion
Many of them are living hand to mouth

If you’re firmly against immigration
And you don’t want to take refugees
Imagine now with ACTUAL famine, bombs, and gunfire
Then take a long, hard look at yourself, please

Coronavirus lay off our health workers!
Doctors and nurses deserve all our thanks
You can keep taking on our politicians
But fuck you, why Rita and Tom Hanks?

You’ve gutted our staples in entertainment
Going out, sports and late night teev
They’re just not the same without an audience
Why they used canned laughter, now we can all see

We all have to practice ‘social isolation’
Different people cope with it in different ways
For an extrovert it is pure torture
Lucky introverts go on happily for days

Working from home throws up many challenges
Technology acts as an awesome bridge
But no doubt the biggest battle
Is to try and stay away from your fridge

This lockdown has seen many innovations
Like the birth of mass online parties
The perfect excuse to drink while you’re home alone
Even the quarantini has been coined by some smarties

If you’re home with kids 24/7 how are you doing?
Are the little bastards now driving you mad?
Don’t forget to check in with other parents
They’re the best support network you can have

Socially isolating for some time with your partner
Will have some of you heading for divorce
The others will be f*cking, not fighting
And making the NEW baby boomers of course

But don’t forget our original baby boomers
From their elevated risk many of them are reeling
They’ve been through so much in their lifetimes
Drop them a line and ask them how they’re feeling

The town of Bergano in Italy
Is showing us the worst of what can happen
With over two thousand dead now and counting
They’ve lost an entire generation

The big winners are the animals and ecosystem!
And our pets sure do love having us home
So get off your Netflix and social media
And go out and throw them a bone!

There’s less rubbish and WAY less pollution
When we all have to stay in our homes
There are some spectacular reports from those living in cities
Seeing birds and animals where they usually don’t roam

Oh Coronavirus you’ve come here to test us
And you’ve certainly changed the world as we know it
This pandemic is sure far from over
Let’s dig down, find our best, and now show it

The End

Thanks for reading and/or listening.  I hope you enjoyed it.  If you did, please like and share on social media.  I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin and my handle is @ClaireRWriter.

If you want to work with me, check out my website ClaireRWriter.com and book a meeting.

Until next time!


This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Roderick Smith

    Thank you Claire, Well done, Hope all goes well for you in the midst of all this mayhem, Because of COVID-19 I don’t think TMI Paris will be happening August next, All’s good here with me and my family, Stay well and take care😀👍🏻🇦🇺

    1. ClaireRWriter

      Thanks Roderick!

      It is mayhem here. I’m hoping to get back into Australia by the end of the weekend to start my quarantine… Take care!

  2. Damo

    This thing doesn’t discriminate! I collect old cars and my insurer called me up last week, they told me how concerned they were about me in particular because it seemed I have car-owner virus. What next!

    1. ClaireRWriter

      Ha! The struggle is real… Stay safe and stop buying old cars until this thing is over!

  3. SL

    Dear Claire

    I never knew that you had the gift for penning verses. In one word .. AWESOME !!

    Life in Chennai has changed in ways I never thought possible. The privileged gentry that used to either gym or swim or row or play racquet sports inside the salubrious environs of the three exclusive clubs are now reduced to jogging or walking on the streets of Boat Club.

    This virus is great leveller. Hope to see you soon; safe travels back to Down Under.


    1. ClaireRWriter

      Cheers SL!

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. So much going on all over the place now. I am safely in quarantine waiting to see if I caught anything on my way back to Australia. Thinking of all you guys over there not social distancing in Boat Club streets!!


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